Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams

Carpe per diem - seize the check.
Robin Williams

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Robin Williams

Comedy is acting out optimism.
Robin Williams

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
Robin Williams

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
Robin Williams

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
Robin Williams

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
Robin Williams

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
Robin Williams

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
Robin Williams

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Robin Williams

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Robin Williams

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
Robin Williams

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
Robin Williams

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
Robin Williams

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Robin Williams

Reality: What a concept!
Robin Williams

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
Robin Williams

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
Robin Williams