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Robin Williams Quotes

Type: Comedian Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Date of Birth: July 21, 1952 Nationality: American Find on Amazon: Robin Williams Related Authors: Steven Wright Josh Billings Groucho Marx W. C. Fields Mitch Hedberg James Thurber Rodney Dangerfield George Carlin

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Robin Williams Carpe per diem - seize the check. Robin Williams Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money. Robin Williams Comedy is acting out optimism. Robin Williams Cricket is basically baseball on valium. Robin Williams Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus. Robin Williams Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason. Robin Williams God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! Robin Williams I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out. Robin Williams I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. Robin Williams If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? Robin Williams If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. Robin Williams Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose. Robin Williams No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. Robin Williams People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. Robin Williams Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. Robin Williams Reality: What a concept! Robin Williams See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" Robin Williams The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev. Robin Williams The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery. Robin Williams The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' Robin Williams We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. Robin Williams We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself. Robin Williams We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins. Robin Williams What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong. Robin Williams When in doubt, go for the dick joke. Robin Williams When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' Robin Williams When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? Robin Williams Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks. Robin Williams You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

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