Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
Robert Orben

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Robert Orben

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Robert Orben

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
Robert Orben

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.
Robert Orben

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Robert Orben