A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
Ring Lardner

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.
Ring Lardner

He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
Ring Lardner

I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.
Ring Lardner

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.
Ring Lardner

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.
Ring Lardner

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.
Ring Lardner

They gave each other a smile with a future in it.
Ring Lardner