Quentin Crisp Quotes

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
Quentin Crisp

After, Four, Worse

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
Quentin Crisp

Successful, Simple, Treat

The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
Quentin Crisp

Life, Happiness, Character

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
Quentin Crisp

God, Woman, Said

It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
Quentin Crisp

Good, Saying, While

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
Quentin Crisp

Parenting, Mother, Father

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
Quentin Crisp

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Quentin Crisp

Failure, May, Succeed

Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
Quentin Crisp

Sleep, Succeed, State

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
Quentin Crisp

Sex, Stuff, Cook

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
Quentin Crisp

Give, Enough, Last

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
Quentin Crisp

Mother, Fire, Country

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Quentin Crisp

Love, Enough, Foundation

Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Quentin Crisp

Women, Men, Screwed

Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.
Quentin Crisp

Thought, Means, Won

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Quentin Crisp

Down, Keep, Level

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
Quentin Crisp

Happiness, Time, Happy

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
Quentin Crisp

Opinion, Purpose, Ourselves

However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
Quentin Crisp

Police, Level, However

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.
Quentin Crisp

Lives, Pleasantly, Limiting

Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.
Quentin Crisp

Living, Rudeness, Motives

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
Quentin Crisp

Time, Live, Human

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
Quentin Crisp

Lost, Whole, House

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
Quentin Crisp

Life, Funny, Happened

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
Quentin Crisp

Sex, Last, Miserable

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Biography

Nationality: English

Type: Writer

Born: December 25, 1908

Died: November 21, 1999

Links

Find on Amazon: Quentin Crisp

Cite this Page: Citation

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