A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
Peter De Vries

Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.
Peter De Vries

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy.
Peter De Vries

Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.
Peter De Vries

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
Peter De Vries

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
Peter De Vries

I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.
Peter De Vries

I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.
Peter De Vries

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.
Peter De Vries

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
Peter De Vries


Let us hope, that a kind Providence will put a speedy end to the acts of God under which we have been laboring.
Peter De Vries

Life is a zoo in a jungle.
Peter De Vries

Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.
Peter De Vries

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
Peter De Vries

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Peter De Vries

Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart.
Peter De Vries

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
Peter De Vries

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
Peter De Vries

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.
Peter De Vries

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
Peter De Vries