Paula Poundstone Quotes

I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.
Paula Poundstone

Whatever, Act, Call

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.
Paula Poundstone

Thankful, Off, Taught

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.
Paula Poundstone

Good, Thankful, Vision

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
Paula Poundstone

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
Paula Poundstone

Home, Two, Once

President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.
Paula Poundstone

Hate, Down, Big

There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.
Paula Poundstone

Ways, Prepare, Foods

When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.
Paula Poundstone

Time, Writing, Down

When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
Paula Poundstone

Live, Around, Off

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
Paula Poundstone

Rain, Hard, Party

Share with your Friends

Everyone likes a good quote - don't forget to share.

Biography

Nationality: American

Born: December 29, 1959

Links

Find on Amazon: Paula Poundstone

Cite this Page: Citation

Related Authors

George Carlin
Bill Cosby
Groucho Marx
Mitch Hedberg
Steven Wright
Lucille Ball
W. C. Fields
Rodney Dangerfield
More

Get Social with BrainyQuote

BrainyQuote Desktop

BrainyQuote Mobile

Site

Quote of the Day

Social

BQ on Pinterest

Syndication

Funny Quote Feed

Love Quote Feed

Nature Quote Feed

About Us