If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.
Paul Lynde

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.
Paul Lynde

If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.
Paul Lynde

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.
Paul Lynde

Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.
Paul Lynde

Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.
Paul Lynde

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that.
Paul Lynde

My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.
Paul Lynde

My following is straight. I'm so glad.
Paul Lynde

My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter.
Paul Lynde

My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.
Paul Lynde

My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.
Paul Lynde

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
Paul Lynde

Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
Paul Lynde

Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.
Paul Lynde

The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you.
Paul Lynde

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.
Paul Lynde

The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt.
Paul Lynde

When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.
Paul Lynde