Patton Oswalt Quotes

George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
Patton Oswalt

Stupid, Evil, Between

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.
Patton Oswalt

Three, Inside, Romance

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'
Patton Oswalt

Good, Fear, Ignorance

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Patton Oswalt

Head, Hit, Gold

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
Patton Oswalt

It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
Patton Oswalt

Bad, Country, Run

We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
Patton Oswalt

Evil, Long, Humanity

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
Patton Oswalt

Music, Good, Art

I hate all sidekicks.
Patton Oswalt

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.
Patton Oswalt

Spring, Year, Might

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong.
Patton Oswalt

Humanity, Down, Remember

I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do.
Patton Oswalt

Time, Best, Sincerely

I'm not familiar with the metric system.
Patton Oswalt

System, Familiar, Metric

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.
Patton Oswalt

Long, Mean, Enough

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
Patton Oswalt

Death, Bad, Mean

I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form.
Patton Oswalt

Time, Art, Long

I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
Patton Oswalt

Good, Writing, Fact

Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period.
Patton Oswalt

Funny, Hate, Few

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: January 27, 1969

Links

Find on Amazon: Patton Oswalt

Cite this Page: Citation

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