P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
P. J. O'Rourke

Stupidity, College, Sent

My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.
P. J. O'Rourke

Family, Wife, Two

People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
P. J. O'Rourke

Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.
P. J. O'Rourke

Education, Health, Positive

The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do, shouldn't do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
P. J. O'Rourke

Long, Often, Makes

There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.
P. J. O'Rourke

Women, Men, Young

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.
P. J. O'Rourke

Government, True, Often

Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free.
P. J. O'Rourke

Country, Rich, Free

I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
P. J. O'Rourke

Love, Home, Making

I read good. I was an English major.
P. J. O'Rourke

Good, Read, English

I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting.
P. J. O'Rourke

I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words.
P. J. O'Rourke

Good, Words, Write

It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.
P. J. O'Rourke

Fun, Yourself, Someone

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'Rourke

Teacher, Teachers, Punishment

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'Rourke

History, Says, Answers

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.
P. J. O'Rourke

Health, Nobody, Likes

One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history.
P. J. O'Rourke

History, True, Problems

People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.
P. J. O'Rourke

Anger, Angry, America

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.
P. J. O'Rourke

Nothing, Else, Worth

Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'Rourke

Nice, Place, Cancer

The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.
P. J. O'Rourke

Good, Government, Bad

We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'Rourke

Nature, Government, Humans

Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics.
P. J. O'Rourke

Thinking, Obsession, Economics

A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.
P. J. O'Rourke

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
P. J. O'Rourke

Change, Bad, Done

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: November 14, 1947

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