A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
Oscar Levant

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.
Oscar Levant

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
Oscar Levant

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
Oscar Levant

I am no more humble than my talents require.
Oscar Levant

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.
Oscar Levant

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.
Oscar Levant

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.
Oscar Levant

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
Oscar Levant

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.
Oscar Levant


I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
Oscar Levant

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.
Oscar Levant

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
Oscar Levant

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.
Oscar Levant

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.
Oscar Levant

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.
Oscar Levant

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
Oscar Levant

So little time and so little to do.
Oscar Levant

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.
Oscar Levant