Ogden Nash Quotes

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Ogden Nash

Marriage, Love, Wrong

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash

Age, Hope, Home

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Ogden Nash

Work, Money, Enough

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Ogden Nash

Happiness, Scratch, Itch

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash

Candy, Liquor, Quicker

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Ogden Nash

Morning, Night, Regret

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Ogden Nash

Pet, Trouble, Eventually

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?
Ogden Nash

Life, Funny, Money

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Ogden Nash

Family, Women, Men

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash

Marriage, Two, Alliance

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash

Wrong, Door, Dog

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash

Life, Live, Living

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Ogden Nash

Sex, Woman, Idea

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Ogden Nash

Mind, Late, Simply

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Ogden Nash

Happiness, Conscience, Either

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Ogden Nash

Happy, Children, Parents

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Ogden Nash

Wrong, News, Era

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash

Long, Once, Progress

Too clever is dumb.
Ogden Nash

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Ogden Nash

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
Ogden Nash

Hope, Mothers, Tongue

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash

Age, Someone, Person

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Ogden Nash

Children, Parents, Naive

Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Ogden Nash

Women, Rather, Reasonable

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Ogden Nash

Long, Year, Line

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Poet

Born: August 19, 1902

Died: May 19, 1971

Links

Find on Amazon: Ogden Nash

Cite this Page: Citation

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