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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash Quotes

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Dog, Door, Wrong

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage, Love, Wrong

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Pet, Trouble, Cat

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life, Floor, Waxed

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

Parents, Naive, Web

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.

Fun, Debts, Acquiring

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse, Violent

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Candy, Liquor, Dandy

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Marriage, Birthdays, Whom

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Happiness, Itch, Scratch

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Funny, Progress, Alright

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Work, Money, Earn

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Too clever is dumb.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Woman, Sex, Disarm

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Age, Home, Hope

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Parenting, Happy, Parents

No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Family, Women, Men

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

Billboard, Tree, Fall

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Happy, Parents, Ignore

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Hope, Mothers, Tongue

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Happiness, Control, Beyond

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Year, Line, Criminals

Biography

Nationality: American Quotes

Type: Poet

Born: August 19, 1902

Died: May 19, 1971

Links

Find on Amazon: Ogden Nash

Cite this Page: Citation

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