The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Mark Twain

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
Mark Twain

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
Mark Twain

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Mark Twain

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Mark Twain

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Mark Twain

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
Mark Twain

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Mark Twain

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain