The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
Mark Twain

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain

The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
Mark Twain

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
Mark Twain

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
Mark Twain

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
Mark Twain

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain