Mark Twain Quotes

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain

Success, Life, Ignorance

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Mark Twain

Lies, Statistics

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain

Best, Yourself, Try

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Mark Twain

Motivational, Secret, Getting

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain

Humor, Greatest, Blessing

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Mark Twain

Patriotism, Person, Knowing

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain

Imagination, Focus, Eyes

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain

Anger, Angry, Four

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain

Age, Wrinkles, Smiles

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain

Laughter, Nothing, Against

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain

Understand, Bible, Bother

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain

Cannot, Approval

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
Mark Twain

Life, Real, Person

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain

Fight, Dog, Size

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain

Different, Spring, Weather

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain

We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain

Government, Money, Best

I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain

Education, School, Interfere

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain

Time, Writing, Write

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain

Friends, Young, Old

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain

Death, Nice, Saying

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain

Tomorrow, After, Put

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
Mark Twain

Emotion, Sincere

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain

God, School, Made

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain

Laughter, Human, Race

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Author

Born: November 30, 1835

Died: April 21, 1910

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