Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain