Lily Tomlin Quotes

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

Funny, Wanted, Realize

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

Funny, Love, Question

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

Society, Win, Trouble

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Lily Tomlin

Government, Country, Two

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
Lily Tomlin

Why, Somebody, Realized

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
Lily Tomlin

Teacher, Home, Homework

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin

Funny, Beauty, Truth

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
Lily Tomlin

Stress, Reality, Touch

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
Lily Tomlin

Die, Working, Survival

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
Lily Tomlin

Failure, Afraid, Somebody

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin

Deep, Language, Complain

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

Wanted, Somebody, Specific

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Lily Tomlin

Person, Thinking, May

No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
Lily Tomlin

Enough, Become, Keep

The road to success is always under construction.
Lily Tomlin

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin

Down, Try, Relief

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Lily Tomlin

Reality, Handle, Crutch

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin

Nothing, Reality, Collective

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
Lily Tomlin

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin

Deep, Language, Complain

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Lily Tomlin

Read, Books, Watch

The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

Winning, Problem, Race

Remember we're all in this alone.
Lily Tomlin

Alone, Remember

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
Lily Tomlin

Less, Might, Known

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: September 1, 1939

Links

Find on Amazon: Lily Tomlin

Cite this Page: Citation

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