A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.
Kinky Friedman

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.
Kinky Friedman

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Kinky Friedman

Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.
Kinky Friedman

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
Kinky Friedman

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.
Kinky Friedman

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.
Kinky Friedman

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.
Kinky Friedman

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.
Kinky Friedman

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.
Kinky Friedman

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.
Kinky Friedman

I see an issue I like, and I support it.
Kinky Friedman

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
Kinky Friedman

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
Kinky Friedman

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.
Kinky Friedman

I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.
Kinky Friedman

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
Kinky Friedman

I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.
Kinky Friedman

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.
Kinky Friedman

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.
Kinky Friedman