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Karl Pilkington Quotes
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People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door.
I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash.
I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.
Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard.
I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised.
I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage.
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.
When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.
That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!
I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?
I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit.
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?
All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird.
I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.
I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?
You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
Chinese people age overnight.
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