Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
Josh Billings

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has bin getting a little lower ever since.
Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
Josh Billings

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
Josh Billings

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.
Josh Billings

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
Josh Billings

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
Josh Billings

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
Josh Billings

One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.
Josh Billings

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Josh Billings

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
Josh Billings

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
Josh Billings

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
Josh Billings

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
Josh Billings

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
Josh Billings

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
Josh Billings

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
Josh Billings

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
Josh Billings