A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Josh Billings

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Josh Billings

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
Josh Billings

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
Josh Billings

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
Josh Billings

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
Josh Billings

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
Josh Billings

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
Josh Billings

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Josh Billings

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
Josh Billings


Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
Josh Billings

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
Josh Billings

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
Josh Billings

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.
Josh Billings

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
Josh Billings

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
Josh Billings