Joseph Heller Quotes

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller

Good, Simple, Bad

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller

Born, Mediocrity, Achieve

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
Joseph Heller

Laughter, Give, Dentist

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.
Joseph Heller

Crazy, Fly, Catch

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
Joseph Heller

War, Government, Whole

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
Joseph Heller

Peace, End, Mean

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller

Enemy, Matter, Anybody

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
Joseph Heller

Good, Saying, Done

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
Joseph Heller

War, Children, Parents

Every writer I know has trouble writing.
Joseph Heller

Writing, Trouble, Writer

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller

Live, Die, Forever

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller

Everything, Enjoy, Knew

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
Joseph Heller

Success, Nobody, Lack

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
Joseph Heller

Put, Wanted, Worry

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller

Time, Long, Since

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller

Pretty, Service, Military

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller

Crazy, Country, Scared

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller

Dreams, Bad, Long

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.
Joseph Heller

War, Government, Whole

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more.
Joseph Heller

War, Deserve, Lots

Rise above principle and do what's right.
Joseph Heller

Rise, Above, Principle

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller

Men, Born, Mediocrity

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: May 1, 1923

Died: December 12, 1999

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Cite this Page: Citation

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