There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.
Jonathan Swift

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.
Jonathan Swift

Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder.
Jonathan Swift

Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.
Jonathan Swift

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.
Jonathan Swift

We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.
Jonathan Swift

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
Jonathan Swift

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
Jonathan Swift

What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; what they do not do we are told expressly.
Jonathan Swift

When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.
Jonathan Swift

Where I am not understood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched underneath.
Jonathan Swift

Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her purposes.
Jonathan Swift

Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind.
Jonathan Swift