A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Joey Adams

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Joey Adams

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
Joey Adams

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Joey Adams

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Joey Adams

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.
Joey Adams

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
Joey Adams

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
Joey Adams

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.
Joey Adams