A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
Jerome K. Jerome

But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.
Jerome K. Jerome

Conceit is the finest armour a man can wear.
Jerome K. Jerome

I attribute the quarrelsome nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing weed.
Jerome K. Jerome

I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life.
Jerome K. Jerome

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome

Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.
Jerome K. Jerome

If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest.
Jerome K. Jerome

It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
Jerome K. Jerome

It is always good policy to tell the truth unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar.
Jerome K. Jerome

It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
Jerome K. Jerome

It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No; if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.
Jerome K. Jerome

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
Jerome K. Jerome

It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch each other, and find sympathy. It is in our follies that we are one.
Jerome K. Jerome

It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.
Jerome K. Jerome

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
Jerome K. Jerome

Nothing is more beautiful than the love that has weathered the storms of life. The love of the young for the young, that is the beginning of life. But the love of the old for the old, that is the beginning of things longer.
Jerome K. Jerome

One we discover how to appreciate the timeless values in our daily experiences, we can enjoy the best things in life.
Jerome K. Jerome

People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
Jerome K. Jerome

The weather is like the government, always in the wrong.
Jerome K. Jerome