Home
Authors
Topics
Quote of the Day
Pictures
Authors:
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
Jeff Foxworthy Quotes
Grid
List
Prev
1
2
3
Next
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
Jeff Foxworthy
Men
,
Accident
,
Smell
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Home
,
Might
,
Redneck
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
Time
,
Learning
,
Same
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
Jeff Foxworthy
Dad
,
Morning
,
Why
The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
Made
,
Mad
,
Stuff
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
Through
,
Door
,
Baby
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
Person
,
Wrong
,
Moon
Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
Jeff Foxworthy
Love
,
Music
,
Country
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
Jeff Foxworthy
Clean
,
Babies
,
Smell
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
Jeff Foxworthy
Together
,
Try
,
Put
I know God is real.
Jeff Foxworthy
God
,
Real
I love comedy. God has given me this platform.
Jeff Foxworthy
Love
,
God
,
Comedy
I really don't require a whole lot in life.
Jeff Foxworthy
Life
,
Whole
,
Require
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
Give
,
Two
,
Away
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
End
,
Bad
,
Real
I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
Jeff Foxworthy
Giving
,
Down
,
Away
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
Family
,
Good
,
Country
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy
Yourself
,
Hard
,
Loser
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
Family
,
Good
,
Wife
Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Jeff Foxworthy
Famous
,
Life
,
Nothing
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
True
,
Wife
,
Her
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
Happy
,
School
,
Writing
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Jeff Foxworthy
Pride
,
Step
,
Companies
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
Jeff Foxworthy
Him
,
Quality
,
Voice
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
Thought
,
Somebody
,
Hated
Share with your Friends
Everyone likes a good quote - don't forget to share.
Biography
Nationality:
American
Type:
Comedian
Born:
September 6
, 1958
Links
Find on Amazon:
Jeff Foxworthy
Cite this Page:
Citation
Popular Topics
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Success Quotes
Funny Quotes
Wisdom Quotes
More topics
Grid
List
Prev
1
2
3
Next
Related Authors
George Carlin
Bill Cosby
Groucho Marx
Mitch Hedberg
Steven Wright
Lucille Ball
W. C. Fields
Rodney Dangerfield
More
Get Social with BrainyQuote
BrainyQuote Desktop
BrainyQuote Mobile
Site
Home
Quote of the Day
Topics
Authors
Pictures
Professions
Birthdays
Social
BQ on Facebook
BQ on Twitter
BQ on Pinterest
BQ on Google+
Syndication
Quote Feed
Art Quote Feed
Funny Quote Feed
Love Quote Feed
Nature Quote Feed
About Us
Our Story
Inquire
Advertise
Submit
Privacy
Terms
AdChoices