Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.
Jay Mohr

I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.
Jay Mohr

I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.
Jay Mohr

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
Jay Mohr

I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
Jay Mohr

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
Jay Mohr

I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
Jay Mohr

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
Jay Mohr

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.
Jay Mohr

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.
Jay Mohr


True Yankees are born, not made.
Jay Mohr

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
Jay Mohr

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
Jay Mohr

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
Jay Mohr

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.
Jay Mohr