Jay London Quotes

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
Jay London

Enough, Said, Wanted

I was born nine months premature.
Jay London

Born, Months, Nine

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
Jay London

Book, Hair, Loss

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.
Jay London

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?
Jay London

Medical, Said, Doctor

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.
Jay London

Home, Nice, Give

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
Jay London

Dating, Down, Said

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.
Jay London

Family, Whole, Pictures

People read me but they don't subscribe.
Jay London

Read, Subscribe

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
Jay London

Thought, Said, Concerned

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Biography

Nationality: American

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