|
Add the "Quote of the Day" to Your Site or Blog - it's EASY! |
|
Home -
Quote Topics -
Quote Keywords -
Author Types -
Author Nationalities
Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
|
|
|
|
Jay London Quotes
|
|
|
Type: Comedian Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Nationality: American Find on Amazon: Jay London Related Authors: Steven Wright Josh Billings Groucho Marx W. C. Fields Mitch Hedberg James Thurber Rodney Dangerfield George Carlin |
A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
Jay London A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock. Jay London After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride. Jay London At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you? Jay London Did you know that today will never be tomorrow. Jay London Do you know it was a year a ago today? Jay London Does anybody know what I'm doing up here? Jay London I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me. Jay London I model irregular clothing. Jay London I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm. Jay London I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights. Jay London I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else. Jay London I saw a stationery store move. Jay London I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world. Jay London I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough. Jay London I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out. Jay London I was born nine months premature. Jay London I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. Jay London I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road. Jay London I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody. Jay London I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling. Jay London I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time. Jay London I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? Jay London I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger. Jay London I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it. Jay London I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness. Jay London It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. Jay London My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless. Jay London My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. Jay London My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. Jay London My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings. Jay London My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese. Jay London People read me but they don't subscribe. Jay London They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults. Jay London You know what burns me? Matches. Jay London |
|
|
|
Quotes
RSS Feeds
Copyright 2008 BrainyMedia.com
|
|