Jack Benny Quotes

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny

Wife, Enough, Serious

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny

Age, Mind, Matter

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny

Sports, Beautiful, Give

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Benny

Funny, Either, Deserve

Gags die, humor doesn't.
Jack Benny

Humor, Die, Gags

Modesty is my best quality.
Jack Benny

Best, Quality, Modesty

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
Jack Benny

Tell, Carry, Insurance

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Jack Benny

Speak, Knowing, Pause

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Jack Benny

Cut, Pieces, Sandwich

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny

Share with your Friends

Everyone likes a good quote - don't forget to share.

Biography

Nationality: American

Born: February 14, 1894

Died: December 26, 1974

Links

Quotes about Jack Benny

Find on Amazon: Jack Benny

Cite this Page: Citation

Related Authors

George Carlin
Bill Cosby
Groucho Marx
Mitch Hedberg
Steven Wright
Lucille Ball
W. C. Fields
Rodney Dangerfield
More

Get Social with BrainyQuote

BrainyQuote Desktop

BrainyQuote Mobile

Site

Quote of the Day

Social

BQ on Pinterest

Syndication

Funny Quote Feed

Love Quote Feed

Nature Quote Feed

About Us