Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
H. L. Mencken

In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.
H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
H. L. Mencken

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
H. L. Mencken

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what sting is justice.
H. L. Mencken

It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
H. L. Mencken

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. Mencken

It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
H. L. Mencken

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.
H. L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
H. L. Mencken

It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.
H. L. Mencken

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
H. L. Mencken

Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers.
H. L. Mencken

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
H. L. Mencken

Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
H. L. Mencken

Life is a dead-end street.
H. L. Mencken

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
H. L. Mencken