H. L. Mencken Quotes

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. Mencken

Funny, Marriage, Live

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. Mencken

Around, Flowers, Looks

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
H. L. Mencken

Roses, Smell, Soup

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.
H. L. Mencken

Freedom, Pay, Willing

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
H. L. Mencken

Fool, Before, After

All government, of course, is against liberty.
H. L. Mencken

Government, Liberty, Against

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
H. L. Mencken

Women, Men, Happy

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
H. L. Mencken

School, Sunday, Children

It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.
H. L. Mencken

Men, Trouble, Seriously

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. Mencken

Government, Lives, Decent

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
H. L. Mencken

Love, Woman, Young

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.
H. L. Mencken

Imagination, God, Wise

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
H. L. Mencken

Husband, Wife, Year

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
H. L. Mencken

Society, Thought, Made

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.
H. L. Mencken

Sports, Hate, Person

There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.
H. L. Mencken

Humor, Men, Lived

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
H. L. Mencken

Marriage, Husband, Wife

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
H. L. Mencken

Keep, Both, Sit

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
H. L. Mencken

Religion, Made, Communism

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
H. L. Mencken

American, Progress, Taxes

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
H. L. Mencken

Love, Special, After

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
H. L. Mencken

Men, Between, Difference

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H. L. Mencken

Conscience, Whose, Ends

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
H. L. Mencken

Enough, Liberty, Anyone

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. Mencken

Fear, Happy, Someone

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Writer

Born: September 12, 1880

Died: January 29, 1956

Links

Find on Amazon: H. L. Mencken

Cite this Page: Citation

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