As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. Mencken

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
H. L. Mencken

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H. L. Mencken

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
H. L. Mencken

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
H. L. Mencken

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
H. L. Mencken

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. Mencken

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
H. L. Mencken

Every man is his own hell.
H. L. Mencken

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
H. L. Mencken

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
H. L. Mencken