A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
H. L. Mencken

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
H. L. Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. Mencken

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
H. L. Mencken

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. Mencken

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
H. L. Mencken

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H. L. Mencken

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
H. L. Mencken


A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
H. L. Mencken

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
H. L. Mencken

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
H. L. Mencken

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
H. L. Mencken

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
H. L. Mencken

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. Mencken

All government, of course, is against liberty.
H. L. Mencken

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
H. L. Mencken

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
H. L. Mencken

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. Mencken