George Burns Quotes

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
George Burns

Funny, Ridiculous, Retirement

At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns

Age, Flowers, Scare

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
George Burns

Good, Together, Two

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns

Sex, Hard, Remember

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
George Burns

Money, Die, Lose

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
George Burns

Done, Die, Working

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns

Age, Hold, Smoke

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns

Age, Cigar, Thrill

How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
George Burns

Age, Here, Face

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
George Burns

Good, Bad, Enough

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns

Good, Here, Anywhere

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: January 20, 1896

Died: March 9, 1996

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Quotes about George Burns

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