Garrison Keillor Quotes

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor

Forgiveness, Life, Love

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor

Christmas, Together, Through

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Garrison Keillor

Women, Men, Strong

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Garrison Keillor

Smart, May, Thought

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor

Funny, God, Bad

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor

Parenting, Children, Nothing

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'
Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor

Time, Greed, Far

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison Keillor

Down, Hear, Coming

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Garrison Keillor

Pet, Nature, Everything

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor

Life, Person, Give

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.
Garrison Keillor

Thankful, Life, Love

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Garrison Keillor

Sad, Nice, Makes

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor

Girl, Nothing, Hard

A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor

Book, Again, Gift

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Garrison Keillor

Reality, Looking, Eye

The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, 'Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan.
Garrison Keillor

Father, Nothing, Her

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
Garrison Keillor

Down, Vodka, Coming

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Garrison Keillor

Time, Home, Able

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
Garrison Keillor

Age, Children, Woman

I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
Garrison Keillor

Work, Ignorance, Real

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.
Garrison Keillor

Reality, Sometimes, Eye

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor

Food, Hard, Laugh

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
Garrison Keillor

Good, Enough, Joy

I want to resume the life of a shy person.
Garrison Keillor

Life, Person, Shy

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Writer

Born: August 7, 1942

Links

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Cite this Page: Citation

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