Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Fran Lebowitz

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Fran Lebowitz

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Fran Lebowitz

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran Lebowitz

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Fran Lebowitz

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz

You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz