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Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz
Good, Sense, Purpose
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Fran Lebowitz
School, Book, High
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Fran Lebowitz
Enough, Leave, Rest
Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
Funny, Either, Rarely
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Lebowitz
Pet, Dog, Wear
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
Food, America, Bring
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Fran Lebowitz
Good, Talk, Drink
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
Fran Lebowitz
Winning, Play, Same
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
Fran Lebowitz
Children, Off, Few
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
Life, Real, Algebra
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
Talk, Fact, While
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz
Hope, Around, Moral
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
Texas, Iraq, Calling
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
Business, Old, Opinion
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
Fran Lebowitz
Future, Him, Serious
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
Life, Happy, Remember
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Fran Lebowitz
Famous, Fame, Andy
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz
Good, Women, Woman
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
Fran Lebowitz
Nature, Enough, Cannot
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Fran Lebowitz
Sex, Children, Small
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
Children, Obvious, Relieved
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
Good, Humility, Substitute
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
Him, Telling, Hotel
Nothing succeeds like address.
Fran Lebowitz
Nothing, Address, Succeeds
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz
Public, Style, General

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Biography

Nationality: American
Born: October 27, 1951

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