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Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz
Good
,
Sense
,
Purpose
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Fran Lebowitz
School
,
Book
,
High
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Fran Lebowitz
Enough
,
Leave
,
Rest
Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
Funny
,
Either
,
Rarely
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Lebowitz
Pet
,
Dog
,
Wear
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
Food
,
America
,
Bring
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Fran Lebowitz
Good
,
Talk
,
Drink
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
Fran Lebowitz
Winning
,
Play
,
Same
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
Fran Lebowitz
Children
,
Off
,
Few
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
Life
,
Real
,
Algebra
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
Talk
,
Fact
,
While
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz
Hope
,
Around
,
Moral
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
Texas
,
Iraq
,
Calling
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
Business
,
Old
,
Opinion
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
Fran Lebowitz
Future
,
Him
,
Serious
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
Life
,
Happy
,
Remember
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Fran Lebowitz
Famous
,
Fame
,
Andy
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz
Good
,
Women
,
Woman
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
Fran Lebowitz
Nature
,
Enough
,
Cannot
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Fran Lebowitz
Sex
,
Children
,
Small
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
Children
,
Obvious
,
Relieved
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
Good
,
Humility
,
Substitute
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz
Him
,
Telling
,
Hotel
Nothing succeeds like address.
Fran Lebowitz
Nothing
,
Address
,
Succeeds
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz
Public
,
Style
,
General
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Biography
Nationality:
American
Type:
Journalist
Born:
October 27
, 1951
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Fran Lebowitz
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