Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
Eddie Izzard

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard

I'm a one-man idiot.
Eddie Izzard

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard

Never put a sock in a toaster.
Eddie Izzard

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard