A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
Earl Wilson

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
Earl Wilson

A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
Earl Wilson

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
Earl Wilson

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.
Earl Wilson

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.
Earl Wilson

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
Earl Wilson

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
Earl Wilson

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Earl Wilson

For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
Earl Wilson

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
Earl Wilson

He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
Earl Wilson

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.
Earl Wilson

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.
Earl Wilson

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Earl Wilson

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
Earl Wilson

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
Earl Wilson

Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
Earl Wilson

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
Earl Wilson

Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
Earl Wilson