A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
Don Herold

Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
Don Herold

Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.
Don Herold

If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
Don Herold

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
Don Herold

It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.
Don Herold

Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.
Don Herold

The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance.
Don Herold

The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
Don Herold

There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe.
Don Herold


There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
Don Herold

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.
Don Herold

Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.
Don Herold

Why resist temptation? There will always be more.
Don Herold

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
Don Herold