Dave Attell Quotes

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
Dave Attell

Two, Tell, Fish

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
Dave Attell

Women, Men, Fire

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
Dave Attell

School, Drunk, Sometimes

A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.
Dave Attell

Kids, Picture, Actually

Being on the road is kind of lonely.
Dave Attell

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.
Dave Attell

Find, Matter, Call

For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
Dave Attell

Time, Cool, Long

I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.
Dave Attell

Mind, Down, Show

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.
Dave Attell

Star, Celebrity

I don't watch reality TV.
Dave Attell

Reality, Watch, Tv

I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool.
Dave Attell

Cool, Reality, Watch

I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.
Dave Attell

Music, Again, Almost

I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.
Dave Attell

Famous, Recognized

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
Dave Attell

Life, Reality, Boring

I have no grand scheme.
Dave Attell

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.
Dave Attell

I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.
Dave Attell

Keep, Start, Tell

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
Dave Attell

Love, Tv, Putting

I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
Dave Attell

Writing, Tell, Joke

I never wanted to be famous.
Dave Attell

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
Dave Attell

Writing, Tell, Joke

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.
Dave Attell

Else, Keep, Comedy

I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
Dave Attell

Funny, Good, Whatever

I'm not like a performer type.
Dave Attell

Performer, Type

I'm not really a music guy.
Dave Attell

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: January 18, 1965

Links

Find on Amazon: Dave Attell

Cite this Page: Citation

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