Chris Rock Quotes

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Chris Rock

Funny, Life, Women

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock

Control, Gun, Innocent

When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.
Chris Rock

Crazy, Children, Sacrifice

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock

Life, Stupidity, Wish

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Chris Rock

Woman, She, Looks

A man is only as faithful as his options.
Chris Rock

Faithful, Options

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
Chris Rock

Gay, Else, Everybody

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
Chris Rock

Government, Pay, Taxes

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Chris Rock

Live, Bad, Getting

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock

Time, Happy, Understand

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
Chris Rock

Two, Same, Used

You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock

Everyone, Whole, Mine

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Chris Rock

Marriage, Humor, Great

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
Chris Rock

Fun, Care, Children

Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
Chris Rock

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
Chris Rock

Career, Find, Themselves

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock

School, White, Stolen

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
Chris Rock

Tell, Laughing, Critic

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
Chris Rock

College, Makes, House

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Chris Rock

Sports, Black, United

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
Chris Rock

Person, Loser, Special

If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Chris Rock

Before, Room, Clean

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
Chris Rock

Love, Famous, Almost

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
Chris Rock

Love, Women, Great

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Biography

Born: February 7, 1966

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