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Carol Burnett Quotes
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My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved.
On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing.
I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite.
I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.
My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.
My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.
I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows.
My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?
You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
I have a great memory.
I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.
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