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Carol Burnett Quotes
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I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing.
I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite.
You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.
My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows.
My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?
My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.
Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
I have a great memory.
I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.
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You can find peace amidst the storms that threaten you.
Joseph B. Wirthlin
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