A friend in need is a pest.
Bobby Heenan

Are there any swamps in Oklahoma? Yes, there is. It's called Tulsa.
Bobby Heenan

Have you ever been to Glens Falls? The city limits signs are on the same post.
Bobby Heenan

Hawaii's the 50th state? I thought it was a suburb of Guam.
Bobby Heenan

I know all about cheating. I've had six very successful marriages.
Bobby Heenan

I'd love to be popular in Barcelona. That sounds like a fun job.
Bobby Heenan

I'm a legend in this sport. If you don't believe me, ask me.
Bobby Heenan

If you're poor and you do something stupid, you're nuts. If you're rich and do something stupid, you're eccentric.
Bobby Heenan

It's a dog eat dog world, and Mr. Perfect is a Milk Bone.
Bobby Heenan

North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?
Bobby Heenan


The money's the same, whether you earn it or scam it.
Bobby Heenan

There's nothing better than a good, blind referee.
Bobby Heenan

There's only two kinds of music I don't like... Country and Western.
Bobby Heenan

There's the downtown area of Tupelo. Did you see the skyscrapers? Two stories.
Bobby Heenan

You can win, it'll just cost you some money.
Bobby Heenan

You'd have a good voice, if it ever came out of your throat.
Bobby Heenan