Bob Hope Quotes

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

Birthday, Old, Getting

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
Bob Hope

Funny, Love, Money

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope

Money, Place, Prove

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Bob Hope

Christmas, Heart, Trouble

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope

Love, Lazy, Throw

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Bob Hope

Laugh, Almost, Seen

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope

Waiting, Learned, Dance

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope

Funny, Love, Live

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob Hope

Happiness, Great, Greatest

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob Hope

Sports, Work, Fun

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
Bob Hope

Time, Tired, Stop

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope

Age, Around, Show

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob Hope

Good, Bad, Jesus

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope

Hate, Religions, Blow

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
Bob Hope

Funny, Country, Egg

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob Hope

Humor, Good, Heart

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Bob Hope

Liberty, Same, Wonderful

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Bob Hope

Israel, Chicken, Soup

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
Bob Hope

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Bob Hope

Wonderful, Kids, Mine

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob Hope

Help, Said, She

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob Hope

Down, Play, Off

I have too much money invested in sweaters.
Bob Hope

Money, Invested, Sweaters

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Bob Hope

Two, Wrong, Crime

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: May 29, 1903

Died: July 27, 2003

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