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Bill Maher Quotes
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The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
I never thought I'd say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
It's all been satirized for your protection.
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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