President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.
Bill Maher

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
Bill Maher

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
Bill Maher

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Bill Maher

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
Bill Maher

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
Bill Maher

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Bill Maher

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
Bill Maher

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
Bill Maher

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
Bill Maher

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Bill Maher

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
Bill Maher

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
Bill Maher

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
Bill Maher

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window.
Bill Maher