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Bill Maher Quotes
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The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
I never thought I'd say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
It's all been satirized for your protection.
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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