Bill Maher Quotes

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
Bill Maher

Death, God, Fire

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.
Bill Maher

Politics, Time, Freedom

Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher

Funny, Men, Loyal

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher

Women, Men, Cannot

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Bill Maher

Funny, Everything, Used

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
Bill Maher

Live, Reality, Book

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
Bill Maher

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher

Country, Free, Sheep

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
Bill Maher

Religion, Thinking, Nation

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
Bill Maher

Truth, Friend, Real

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
Bill Maher

Great, Again, Works

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.
Bill Maher

Marriage, Medical, Gay

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
Bill Maher

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher

Religion, Building, Flying

If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Bill Maher

History, Tough, Read

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
Bill Maher

Women, Country, Republican

The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher

Hate, Black, Won

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Bill Maher

Sex, Easy, Kids

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher

Home, Him, Trade

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher

Religion, God, Between

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Bill Maher

Away, Cowards, Building

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.
Bill Maher

Why, Wonder, Curious

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
Bill Maher

Game, Mad, Started

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.
Bill Maher

Good, Dark, Kids

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: January 20, 1956

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