A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
Arthur Baer

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.
Arthur Baer

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.
Arthur Baer

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
Arthur Baer

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.
Arthur Baer

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.
Arthur Baer

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.
Arthur Baer

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.
Arthur Baer

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.
Arthur Baer