Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Andy Rooney

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
Andy Rooney

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
Andy Rooney

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney

The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
Andy Rooney

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
Andy Rooney

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Andy Rooney