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Andy Rooney Quotes
- Page 2
A writer's job is to tell the truth.
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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