Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

You can't make a souffle rise twice.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth